Time to go

There are so many people with whom I have worked closely, shared confidences, had fun, made silly jokes and shared quality time.I hope in return I have demonstrated my real self rather than the ambassadorial stuffed-shirt stereotype that is beloved by the popular media.I can't disguise how difficult the past months have been. I have been - as Americans are wont to say - on a journey. My wife died of cancer just over four weeks ago. She had been diagnosed in early 2008 and deemed to have had a reasonable prospect of survival. But over time hope gradually melted away and since the first months of 2009 it has been clear there could be only one outcome. Sheila had wanted me to stay in Latvia and keep busy as part of my own survival therapy. Hence I have been dividing my time between Riga and north London over recent months, trying to balance the role of ambassador with the certain death of wife. With hindsight I am not sure the balancing act was wise, not least because of the strains placed on my long-suffering colleagues at the embassy. Along the way I have learned more than I would have wanted to know about cancer; from now on, raising money for Cancer Research UK is going to be a main part of my life.The journey from here on is about getting my my teenage children through the next phase after which - at some distant stage - I can start to think about where I want to head to next. But there is no hurry. I have in my care and protection my beautiful and intelligent daughter. It falls to me to oversee the process whereby the chrysalis becomes the butterfly. I have a son too in Florida who needs the full attention of a father to turn him into the fine man he is destined to be. I embrace the task with all my heart; my children are the living embodiment of their mother and have the potential to do great things.But it means of course that my place is in London, not Riga.I would have so much wanted to stay to do more here. To build on the climate change event which the embassy organised last year in cooperation with the Latvian Employers Federation. To keep going to help British business here and support the British Chamber of Commerce. To do more to raise awareness of disability issues, working with the British Council. To build on the triumph of last May when the embassy - working with Nordea bank, Nords Communications and many others - laid what I hope will be the foundations for the Riga Marathon to join the market leaders in terms of opportunities for disabled runners. To put across fairly to London the gravity of Latvia's economic problems. To contribute to the UK's Nordic Baltic network of embassy cooperation. And I would have so much wanted to stay with my wonderful colleagues in the embassy, who have been with me throughout, supported me always, never let me down, and been the most inspiring team I could ever have wanted to lead.I leave few footprints in the sand. I stayed for too short a time. Useful things were done, but too much was left undone. I have loved being British ambassador to the Republic of Latvia. But now it's time to go.